I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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