don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
