does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
