Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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