i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
