Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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