your room smells of hookers.
And success
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
