i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
