So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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