I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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