That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
