in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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