he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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