i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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