In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
