been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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