I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
