she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
