The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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