I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
