If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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