Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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