Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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