I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
i drank out of a bidet.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
