Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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