apparently the secret to your success is patron
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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