Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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