Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I think your dad took our porno
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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