I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
