i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Randomize
