I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
