Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
