in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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