The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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