return my video game
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
