Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
