Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
