i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
