oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
