Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
People in love make me want to vomit
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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