I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
