I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
