yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
