im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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