..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
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