Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
