what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
