he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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