Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I wish you could order shots online.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
