By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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