Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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